Operate on your terms

When my dad got an offer to come to America, to teach and research physics at Stanford, our family lived on $20k/year. It’s a transition worth an identity crisis when I look at a W2 today, with an opportunity to make 30x that. And yet I feel like I’m just getting started.

Part of the immigrant story (at least in my opinion) is that everything from here on is icing on the cake. We already made it, living the California dream. And yet once Maslow's needs are satisfied, the idea of purpose comes shimmering out of the San Francisco fog.

Hunter S Thompson, early in life, penned a letter to a friend about what it means to live a life of agency. He wrote about floating vs paddling, being a banker vs a fireman, but mostly about being true to oneself. Building life and career in a way that fulfills you.

Many of us survive jobs that induce a range of feelings, from indigestion, to panic attacks or overwhelming boredom. I can understand this when one doesn’t have much of a choice. Things get more complicated once options get better, regardless of privilege, luck or proper hustle.

A family friend is an early Bain Capital partner, one of the 70 richest families in America. He brought two cars to a recent Thanksgiving dinner and left early (for calls). His “retirement” is advising a dozen growth stage startups. I want his energy (at that age) and a shot at a similar legacy (yet a different flavor of it).

This is where purpose comes to light more clearly. This guy is a self made man, who could have put up his feet years ago, but has redefined what success meant every decade or so. Initially he wanted the trappings of the American dream that has defined this country since the GI bill.

 Now he has an opportunity to leave a legacy that, like a brownstone, lasts through centuries and could impact the history of this country. What do you do at this point? Enjoy the country club lifestyle or keep your head in Roosevelt’s arena?

It’s highly personal, but he knows what equity is meaningful for his time, he knows the cash piece that makes him invested in week to week operations and he trusts his investing sense to to write a check every so often. When you catch lightning in a bottle (product market fit), it’s tough to let go.

Another friend of mine came from Russia at about the same age as me. Coming from a family background that didn’t prioritize schooling, she defied the odds and her family, to go Berkeley. We used to trade day dreams over beers in San Francisco, in our early 20s. She found her way to the nation's top business school, then a VP role at a Fortune 500. She is happily married to a son of a U.S. diplomat She turned a page. 

Nobody will ever tell her she isn’t smart enough to be someone special. She doesn’t want to be CEO, or a philanthropist. She likes to draw with her son and connect music to marketing strategy for a major brand. 

Spending time with these friends on the East Coast, recently, made me ponder my own operational terms and a life of meaning.